FlirtCoquins

*Ah, bonjour. It is Pierre, my good friend. Jake from Texas, he ask me to write for you, yes? He say, “Pierre, you have the… how you say… the *je ne sais quoi* for these t’ings.” So I am here. I sit with my glass of wine, and I tell you of zis site, FlirtCoquins. For me, testing zese adult sites, it is a hobby, like you maybe collect stamps, no? But much more… *exciting*, I t’ink.*

First, the name. “FlirtCoquins.” It is very French, no? It means “naughty flirt,” and zis is exactly what they promise. The website, it is… *comment dire*… very stylish. It is not like your American sites, all loud and in your face. Zis is more… *chic*. It is dark, it is elegant, like a small café in Paris. It is easy to use, even for a man who prefers the real company of a woman to a computer, *bien sûr*.

Now, for the good. The women on zis site, *mon Dieu*, they are beautiful. They have that certain French style, you understand? They are not just… how you say… “hot.” They are *sophisticated*. They are witty. The conversation, it is like a dance. You do not just say “I want you.” You must be clever, you must be charming. It is more of a mental game, and I, Pierre, I love the game. The women are also very direct about what they want, which is refreshing. No time for nonsense, *non*? We are adults, we know why we are here. *C’est magnifique*.

But… it is not perfect, *mon ami*. My biggest problem? It is the cost. *Oh là là*. It is more expensive than a dinner for two at the Eiffel Tower. The credits, they disappear faster than a croissant in front of a hungry man. And some of the profiles… I suspect they are not as real as the smile of the Mona Lisa. Some of them, they want you to go to another site to “verify.” It is a trick, a very old trick, and I am too old for such games. It is… *ennuyeux*. Boring.

And now, my personal story. I was talking to a woman who called herself “Fleur de Paris.” Her picture, she was stunning. *Magnifique*. We talked for hours. She was funny, she was smart. She told me she loved poetry and long walks on the Seine. I was t’inking, “Pierre, you have found her. She is the one.” We made a plan to meet at a small bistro I know near the Champs-Élysées. A very romantic place, yes?

I get there, I order a glass of red wine, and I wait. And I wait. One hour. Two hours. She is a no-show. I feel like a fool, a lonely *imbécile* in a fancy restaurant. Then, my telephone, it buzzes. It is a message from “Fleur.” She says, “Oh, Pierre, I am so, so sorry. My grandmother, she is very sick. I had to go to ze hospital. But I need money for the taxi to get home. Can you send me 100 euros?”

I nearly spit out my wine. *Zis is the classic scam!* I type back to her, “Mademoiselle, the only thing ‘sick’ here is your attempt to trick me. I hope your ‘grandmother’ feels better.” I blocked her so fast, *poof*. It was more disappointing than a bad bottle of Bordeaux. *Tragique*.

So, what is my final verdict? FlirtCoquins is like a box of expensive chocolates. Some of them are delicious, a real treat. But some of them have a disgusting, bitter filling inside. You must be very careful. You must be smarter than the average scammer to find the real ones.

If you have the money and you enjoy the game, the *chase*, then maybe you will have luck. But for me? I think I will go back to the real world. At least at the café, I can see if the woman is real before I buy her a drink.

I wish you good luck in your hunting, my friends. May your nets be full of only the genuine ones.

— Pierre 🇫🇷