GetItOn

So, okay, let me tell you aboot this whole GetItOn.com thing, right? I’m Alex, I’m 32, living in the 6ix – that’s Toronto for you folks not from around here – and I work in IT at a bank downtown, which is aboot as exciting as watching the maple sap drip in February, sorry to say.

Anyways, I joined this site back in January when it was minus 30 outside and I was sitting on my chesterfield in my apartment near Yonge and Eglinton, wearing my toque inside because the heat wasn’t working properly, drinking a double-double from Timmies and feeling pretty sorry for myself, eh. My ex, Jennifer – she’s from Vancouver, real granola type – she left me in the fall to “find herself” at some yoga retreat in Costa Rica. Haven’t heard from her since, so I guess she found herself and decided to stay there. Good for her, I suppose.

My buddy Derek from the hockey league – he’s a defenceman, real give’r type of guy – he told me aboot GetItOn.com. Said it wasn’t like the other hookup sites that are full of bots and fake profiles. Said it was more “sophisticated” which I took to mean people actually read your profile before messaging you. Sounded good to me, so I signed up, paid for a three-month membership because it was cheaper that way, and started browsing.

First off, the site design is pretty decent, eh? Not like some of those sketchy American sites that look like they were made in 2003. This one actually works on your phone, which is important because I’m on the GO Train for an hour each way every day, and that’s prime browsing time if you know what I mean. The search filters are good too – you can really narrow it down by what you’re looking for, which I appreciated because I’m not really into the whole bar scene anymore. Too loud, too expensive, and half the time you can’t hear what anyone’s saying over the music.

Quality-wise, I’d say the people on here are more… mature, I guess? Like, it’s not just twenty-year-olds looking for a quick hookup. There’s professionals, people with actual jobs and apartments and stuff. I saw teachers, nurses, even a couple of lawyers, which was a bit intimidating, I won’t lie. But everyone seemed pretty down-to-earth, which was nice.

Now here’s where it gets really interesting, and I’m gonna be honest with you here because that’s how we do things in Canada, even when it’s embarrassing. I started chatting with this woman, Sarah, from Ottawa. She was 29, worked for the government – typical, eh? – and had this whole librarian-chic thing going on. Glasses, dark hair, these cardigans that looked really proper but she had this smile in her photos that made you think there was something more going on underneath, you know?

We messaged back and forth for like two weeks before either of us suggested meeting. That’s another thing aboot this site – people actually want to talk first, which I liked. No pressure, just getting to know each other. We discovered we both loved poutine from this specific place on College Street, and we both thought the Leafs were gonna win the Cup this year (sorry, we’re optimistic Canadians, it’s what we do).

So we decided to meet up at a bar in the Distillery District, this really nice place with exposed brick and craft beer. I was nervous as hell, eh. Wore my good jeans and a button-up shirt, shaved properly for once. When she walked in… wow. Just, wow. She looked even better than her photos, which never happens, right? Usually it’s the opposite – they look great in pictures and then you meet them and it’s like, oh, okay, I see.

But Sarah, she was stunning. And smart too. We talked for three hours, ordered another round, then another. The chemistry was just… it was electric, eh? You know when you just click with someone? Like the conversation flows so easy you don’t even notice time passing? It was like that.

Around midnight, she suggested we go back to her place because she lived nearby and didn’t want to take the Uber all the way to Ottawa that late. I said sure, obviously, I’m not an idiot. Her apartment was this cute little place in Corktown, really nicely decorated, plants everywhere, books stacked everywhere. Very cozy, very her.

And then… okay, so I’m gonna try to describe this without being too crude, but also I want to be honest aboot how incredible it was, right? Because that’s why you’re reading this review, let’s be real.

We started on the couch, just kissing at first, and she was so into it, so present, you know? Not checking her phone or seeming distracted. She was right there with me, touching my face, running her hands through my hair. We moved to the bedroom and she lit these candles – real candles, not those fake LED ones – and put on some music, something slow and jazzy.

What followed was… it was like nothing I’d experienced before, eh. She was confident, knew exactly what she wanted, wasn’t afraid to ask for it. And she paid attention to me too, made sure I was enjoying myself, checked in, whispered things that made me absolutely crazy. It wasn’t just physical, though it was definitely that – it was like we were really connecting, reading each other’s bodies and responses. When we finished, we just lay there for like an hour talking, her head on my chest, tracing patterns on my skin.

I stayed over, which I never do on first dates, but it felt different. Made her coffee in the morning – she had one of those fancy espresso machines – and we ate bagels and talked aboot maybe doing it again sometime.

We’ve seen each other five times since then, eh. It’s not just about the sex anymore, though that’s still absolutely mind-blowing. We’re actually dating now, I think? We haven’t put a label on it because we’re Canadians and we’re terrified of having serious conversations, but it’s going really well.

So, to sum up the site quality: GetItOn.com is legit, eh. It’s not perfect – there’s still some fake profiles you gotta watch out for, and the messaging system can be a bit glitchy sometimes – but compared to Tinder or Bumble where everyone’s just looking for validation or free dinners? This is way better. People are actually looking to meet, actually looking for connections, whether that’s just for one night or something more.

The membership fee is worth it, I’d say. You get what you pay for, and what I paid for was one of the best nights of my life and maybe the start of something real with Sarah.

Four stars out of five. Lost one star because their customer service took three days to get back to me when I had a billing question, which is pretty slow, eh. But the experience itself? The people on there? Absolutely worth it.

Would I recommend it? For sure, eh. Just be honest in your profile, be respectful, and maybe you’ll find your own Sarah. Or just have a really great night. Either way, you’re winning.

Stay warm out there, and go Leafs go.

– Alex, 32, Toronto

*P.S. – Sarah, if you’re reading this, sorry I wrote aboot our private stuff on the internet. I’ll buy you dinner at that poutine place to make up for it, eh?*